Wedding Cake with My Tears

Ingredients

• October wedding
• October wedding shower
• February wedding
• Spring wedding shower
• Spring wedding shower #2
• June wedding week
• July wedding week
• A bulletin board solely for save-the-dates
• 4 invites with the words "plus Guest"
• Open bars

Instructions

Some of my absolute favorite people in the world are getting married this year! It's super exciting and I couldn't be happier for them. I truly look forward to all of the crying and all of the cake. Not to mention all of the plentiful and professional options for a new Facebook profile picture.

However.

My poor fridge cannot handle any more save-the-dates; I fear the magnets are losing their magnetization under the heavy weight of cardstock. My travel calendar is multiplying by the day. Anyone in New York should plan on not seeing me between the months of February and July, due to the "I'm in the wedding" excuse I'll be exercising to fly more than usual to Ohio and Georgia. Finally, my ability to casually dismiss "plus Guest" is diminishing, because by the 4th invite it simply seems mean.

They told me it would happen-- the proverbial "they" being everyone 2+ years older and thus lightyears wiser than me: the wedding years. I was so safe for 2 whole years post-graduation, and then BAM: 4 weddings, 2 of which I'm in. Wow! OK, let's go! These weddings take place in 4 different states, in 3 seasons, covering both of my families. The engaged include 3 cousins and my stepsister. The 2 weddings I'm in? 2 weeks apart.

The Proverbial They imparted their pedantic "your time will come" wisdom down on me as a warning, as if the start of wedding invites and bridesmaid dresses was the beginning of the end. Is this the real end of my adolescence? Did college graduation mean nothing? Is this what actually crosses me over the line between fun young adult and suffering lonely young woman? Will people finally stop seeing me as a kid when they see me in wedding party photos-- with the sight of my hair professionally done and the knowledge that I sat through a wedding and contemplated my own maidenhood? Should I have spent the last 2 years basking in childlike innocence and shouting, "I'm single and it doesn't matter!! No one cares!!" 

I thought the annoying part would be the scheduling and traveling, but good GRACIOUS I love my family and I love any excuse to leave NYC, especially if it involves a beach! The dresses? Oh, sure, my 22-year-old stepsister and gorgeous cousin are gonna pick out some real taffeta monsters. The money? Ha ha ha. No, I'm still unemployed with parents. 

That's it! These are family weddings. Even if I didn't love and like these engaged folk, I'd be familial-ly obligated to go. I'll know the majority of people at the weddings, so I'll always have somewhere to stay and people to hang out with. Plus, my parents help out with the costs! If these were friend weddings... that'd be a different conversation in itself.

I don't want to go to there-- let's go back to what we were talking about...

I suppose I now officially join the ranks of the Proverbial They, so here's my take on the warning: Once you're first asked to be in a wedding, or once you start getting invited to 2+ weddings a year, you realize the world isn't your world. Not everyone does things the way you do. Your way isn't the highway. Some people are getting married-- you're not, but some people are. These people may get pregnant in the next year-- you can't imagine starting a family right now, but some people can. Your social calendar is not as important as celebrating the special day (definitely multiple days) of someone you love. You will stand in the background of many photos, be the least important person in many rooms, be the last in line for dinner at the reception. Over and over and over again. Nothing magnifies the positive attention on someone other than you like a wedding-- and you can't deny how happy that makes you! For a whole day, a few days, maybe even a week, you are selfless and feed the spotlight on someone else. Whether or not you like their location, decorations, or bridal party matters 0%. Think about it: When choosing a college, we're forced to write essays about and weigh school options based on our dreams, likes, and dislikes. In college, we're encouraged to develop our voice, our own personal style, wants, and needs. After college, we're taught to stay true to our ideals and follow our individual paths. Joining the Proverbial They shakes us out of that extreme self-centeredness and reminds us that what we believe is best isn't always so. 

[Guys, I have a real problem: I really love punctuation. I have a problem with semi-colons and there are a lot of em-dashes going on, as well. I only... I want you all to read it like I'd say it? But I also want it to be grammatically correct! It's really hard sometimes to follow the ACT/SAT grammar rules that I teach; I've wanted to incorrectly use the word "just" at least four times so far in this post!! If someone can help me, or knows someone who can help me, I'd really appreciate it.]

You'll never hear me complain that my beloved Rupp cousins, 2 beautiful & cool sisters that both my sister and I looked up to since we were born, are getting married this year. (Not to each other. I know you'd never think that, but you could've read it that way.) I literally just (proper usage) Facebook messaged my other cousin Jessie to tell her how excited I was for her brother's wedding-- her brother being the one of only a few cousins (out of 15) to be in the same generation as me, and baller enough to forgive my sister and me for breaking his new toy train set at Christmas and eating all of his Easter Candy. I will not ever curse my step-sister, who I have known since I was 6, lived with in two homes, vacationed with to Mexico & Florida islands & Virginia Beach, and nicknamed "Watermelon-ie" and "Melonious," for asking me to be in her wedding. The weddings themselves are not annoying or cause to complain. How they make me FEEL...

... is another story. Perhaps I will get used to it once I myself am married. 

Nooooo no no no-- that did NOT help! 

To those getting married this year, who've felt the unnecessary pressure to hand-make save-the-dates and who've outdone each others' engagement photos, thank you for sharing your wedding day with us. We wish you a lifetime of joy. To the other previously-still-pediatrics crossing over with me into the Proverbial They this year, the best of gained perspectives to us all. Cheers to our lively celebration of another human's dreams and ideals. Let each of us follow the decree of Marie Antoinette, and "let [us] eat cake."