Rocky Road (back to NY): Flavor of the Day

Rocky Road is noted as the "Flavor of the Day" because we currently are experiencing a different flavor of city/state every. single. day. However, there does seem to be a feeling of this "road" back to somewhere at almost all times... Once you leave the West Coast, your life is no longer Coconut Basil Sea Salt. Therefore, I invite you to enjoy the novelty of this Flavor of the Day, though I ask for your patience in event that it remains the Flavor of the Day, at least figuratively, every. single. day. 

Ingredients

• The one tourist attraction that anyone has been remotely interested in since Oregon: Frankenmuth, Michigan. [Now, Frankenmuth is a Bavarian town in Nowhere, Michigan housing the world's largest 365-day-a-year Christmas store to which my extended family vacationed to multiple times. This should tell you something about my family. Now, too, when I say "anyone/interested", I mean "me and one person/she visited alone". We were able to take our always on-the-dot, not-a-tourist-trip 1-hour dinner break after our show there in the downtown area, where I saw some familiar sights from childhood-- like an oversized wedge of cheese in which we took pictures (yes, in) and the outlet malls where my cousin, sister, and I bought matching all-teal outfits.] 

Who EVER would've thought-- LEGITIMATE gluten free options at a hearty German restaurant?

• 1 box of matzoh, 1 bag of raisins, 1 bag of diced walnuts, 1 box of matzoh ball soup, 1 apple, 1 microwave, and cheap wine = Secular Seder at the Super 8 in Saginaw

• 4 days without a phone: These days shouldn't exist. They shouldn't be a problem. They shouldn't matter. They shouldn't be what happens after a swim in the toilet. They shouldn't ruin things. They shouldn't create both mayhem and magic. They should only create magic. They shouldn't be what lands you in Evanston on your day off in Chicago because you have nowhere else to exist without a phone. They totally should bring you to Evanston. You're clearly conflicted about not having a phone for 4 days. Were you happier? Were you healthier? Can you envision a world where shouting can be heard in other states & we all just shout to each other? Do you now have an Otterbox? 
• 3 people with Narcolepsy-- or however many you find to meet at your first planned encounter with anyone else with narcolepsy ever, the 2014 Narcolepsy Network Walkathon in NYC. 

Perhaps manage to get any photo besides the backs of those walking in front of you... Just a thought.

• 1 restaurant that you swear is an obvious parody of/nod to/statement against/(but why??) Chipotle. It's name is sweet green. 

OK, so take a look at this: Those menu boards on your left are typed out the same way with the same font and the same choose your own adventure as the boards at Chipotle. Instead, you choose your SALAD or brown rice/quinoa bowl adventure. OK. And those assembly line workers? Same process as the old Chipottel. Literally, swap every Big Burrito food item out with salad ingredients, and you've got sweet green. But, as caloric and cheesy as Chipotle is, it is all locally sourced and the related buzzwords-- and, if you want to, it's easy to make healthy, hearty choices there! So, sweet green, I love a good salad and perhaps not all of your restaurants look like this and I'm probably making all of this up,  but... chill. 

I like your Gabriel Garcia Marquez quote, though.

• A half of an aisle devoted to maple syrup! Vermont, you are beautiful in more ways than one. The moose candy available for purchase in your Holiday Inn sure contributed. 

The maple syrup would be across from the Elderly Cereal, based on the way this aisle is progressing.

• $2.99  for a margarita. Cinco de Mayo. Dayton, OH. One option for a Mexican restaurant. Heavy on the salt. 
• A Yelp search for a Mexican restaurant (any Mexican restaurant, please) in Dayton, which yielded a sponsored ad result for Taco Bell. The top review read thus: "Ok, it is Taco Bell...why are you reading reviews of Taco Bell?"                 (there is beauty in the breakdown)

"Don't drink margaritas out of a pre-mixed container,"

I told myself. "No," the bartender told me.

• One really shady white lie [... if a white lie is indeed a lie that is only partially untrue, but only minimally untrue and mostly true because lying is physiologically impossible for me] to get you to an airport you're not flying out of.

So close... and yet so far away-- No. I was definitely really that close; I could've walked up those stairs and stand-by sat myself on a plane. So, definitely "so close". Psh, colloquial phrases.

I imagine you want to hear the lie. Continue reading. Yes, this is like the 11pm news.

• One hundred million uses of string   --- that only the brightest, most passionate of minds devoted to string could think of

TSWA '14 = Strung Along
TSWA '14 = balls of string
TSWA '14 = balls of fun
TSWA '14 = BALLER (you'll want to click on this)

• -

This is where this draft ended. One and a half long, hard, and tired months ago. What was it that drew me away from finishing a strongly promising, clearly deeply invested post and leaving it to sit, useless in my Blogger account for ~6.5 weeks? What was it that separated me, yet again, from writing this damn blog? What was it that broke my leg? What? What was it that brought me back here yet again? And, for the love of God, what was that LIE?!?!?!?!

Only one way to find out. Tune in next week (or tomorrow, or something) for 52 Recipes of Disaster: the OHIO EDITION.

(See? Just like the 11pm news. You wait all that time for nothin'.)