Isn't this cute?!
No.
Ingredients:
- 1 seemingly normal fridge, until...
- All the fruit flies
- 1 bathroom, too
- 2 nights of deep cleaning-- scrubbing and disinfecting, that is
- 4 calls to management
- 1 Google search a la Girls: "how do you get rid of fruit flies in a New York City apartment"
- 5 homemade fruit fly traps
- 1 sleepless night, fearing for my life (skin)
- ¡%@#! (insert uncomfortable number in fake expletive) number of fruit flies
- 1 Bug-ageddon
Instructions:
You wouldn't be living in NYC in the summer and not experience fruit flies. Right? That's what I tell myself, reassuring my soul that Mother Nature isn't targeting our apartment specifically for the next potential bug takeover of humans. However, I do think there is something to be said of the cleanliness of my neighborhood and produce sold here versus, say, I don't know, the area of Park Ave. where my beautiful babysitting job is located. Perhaps the small joy (large joy, come on, throw me a bone) I felt when paying $1 for a container of blueberries or strawberries on the side of the street from the nice produce vendors was NOT meant to make my day. Any day. Ever. Because it really just bit me in the behind. Probably quite literally; I still haven't figured out if fruit flies can bite yet...
Now that that one simple albeit monumentous (which my computer thinks is not a word! ha!) (Dang it, I think it's right. Monumental? Yeah. That's right) reward for living in the neighborhood no one will come to visit because it's "too far" and "what's Inwood?", etc. etc. has been taken away from me. I will no longer buy produce at the cheap, cheap price that, well, I guess it deserves. If it brings in fruit flies. :( I weep for it.
SO! What do you do when you have fruit flies in your apartment? Good question! We still have a few/many/not sure lingerers hangin' around after Bug-ageddon 2013, but I won't be shy about what kind of a warrior I was in the battles. I was manly. Beastly. Scary. Here's what I've done so far, and I'll update you next week as to how it's panned out-- because by then the life cycles of these crazies will have ended muahahaha! Unless they are still procreating. In which I've failed:
- Deep, deep surface clean every deep surface of your kitchen, bathroom, wherever they're congregating. Especially: the insides of trash and recycling cans, your stove top, every square inch of your fridge and freezer
- Take that trash out NOW! Continue to take the trash out daily. All of it. Every day. And make sure there's nothing hanging over the edge of the can-- everything needs to be in that bag!
- If you're composting, stop. Just. Stop.
- TRAPS! Take wittle bowls, like low tiny ones, or jars and fill them with apple cider vinegar. Now, most articles will tell you that's all you need, BUT I've found that ineffective: I also add red wine.
** I do this because my delicious wine comes from Paper Moon Winery in Vermillion, OH, which sells a tantalizingly sweet VERY SWEET like juice red wine, which my roommate Rachel was once drinking, or shall I say not drinking but protecting from all of the fruit flies swarming near her cup. Deliciously tantalizing to all God's creatures. Paper Moon. **
(I'll take my $$ residuals in the mail any day now, Paper Moon.)
Then, mix in a drop or two of dish soap-- this seals the surface and traps them once they've swam in for a drink of the hard stuff. Set out 5 of these, in your kitchen and bathroom, and you'll see some flies swimmin'! + After the first round of traps, I then learned to put saran wrap with tiny holes punched on the surface tightly around the jars or bowls, to really make sure these nasties weren't escaping.
- Throw away any and all questionable or almost over-ripened produce, bottles with anything sticky on the outside, or potatoes/garlic/any natural organic matter (yes, I'm using science terms here, orgaaaanic maaaaatter). It's called another trip to the grocery store you were already going to make anyways, boo hoo.
- Avoid leaving wet wash cloths or towels out in warm places or bunched up. I threw away our sponge and wet hand towels in the kitchen. Well, that was 60 cents I'll never get back from Ikea!
These are just some tips of actions, but I suggest, like any good actor, that you look up the motivations and history behind your actions in order to live fully on stage-- I mean, in your Bug-ageddon. I found this Bug Squad article very insightful.
* If you are willing to spare some extra effort to finish off your recipe, go ahead & add the frosting on the cake. You only need 2 ingredients:
- A phone
- Your parents' utter horror & disappointment
Thank goodness they love you. Considering.
